Warning: May Contain Offensive Language. But you already read the title so, yeah. It’s on like Donkey Kong.

Jordan needed a break from being the best. I, too, am taking a break from the weekly anthology of fake ID stories. What will the future hold? Find out in Part 2.

Don’t mind the corn, it’s just the MacGuffin. It serves no real purpose other than being bitten into and tossed like a grenade halfway across the bar.

Sangria. A bold move. Shooters you can hide in your socks but a bottle of Sangria? You’re dressed in ponchos and sombreros. Isn’t that a little too on-the-nose?

Pinballing is when you start walking one way and then at the first touch of a wall or a person, you start careening off course, bouncing into everyone and everything because you lack motor skills to correct yourself.

Stories of deception, and what happens when we finally remove the mask.

“Bad” people not only expect to interact with police, they come up with excuses to tell them beforehand.

You ever notice how people have a natural way of eliminating themselves out of existence? The Darwin Awards are chronicles of people dying because of something so unimaginably stupid. I almost saw a few last weekend.

The bride-to-be in her white dress. With the white and silver sash. Silver. Huh. Guess I didn’t really remember that until now. Funny how things come back to you now and again.

Too often, there are moments where you have to step outside yourself because you don’t want to break out in laughter and publicly humiliate someone for asking what they believe to be earnest questions.

I am now in my third year of "bouncer" work, but this is no time to talk about the future. Let's see how well my sophomore graduation went.

Maybe it's drunk amnesia. Perhaps it's drugs. It's probably both.