17191311_1808299532822661_6462014729791029565_n.png

Hello.

There are stories we tell to one-up each other, and then there is this blog. Read wondrous tales of strange creatures, explore the depths of human indecency, and hopefully laugh a little as we find out what could possibly make people do what they do.

Big Bad Concert Rankings: 40-31

Big Bad Concert Rankings: 40-31

I enjoy exploring new writing styles and this edition of the countdown will be no exception. If you are a dedicated follower, this is evident. But, if you’re new, or at the very least newer than most, here’s a list of those that are not prose.

The Haiku Collection

Enemies Domestic, Rock the Cash Bar, 600

The Play

In the Valley of Armabreadon

The Sonnet

Cakecdote

The One in Iambic Pentameter

Thirteenth Night

Freeform

Time and Relative Dissension in Space

And now, let me introduce you to my Concert Limericks.

40. PUP

I went with a friend for some Punk.
Without getting drunk as a skunk.
Too old to attack
We stayed near the back,
And avoided the mosh pit funk.

39. Modest Mouse

Isaac hid behind the amps on stage left.
You could tell some fans were bereft.
But by the second encore,
They couldn’t ask for more.
And nobody dared speak of theft.

38. Interpol

I can’t name my favorite song,
The entire catalog is just so strong.
Running though the setlist
Still can’t say what the best is.
I hope the wait between shows isn’t long.

37. Queen + Adam Lambert

Took mom to this show in Charlotte
To see Taylor, May and the varlet.
Lambert was a great choice.
An amazing talent and voice.
But he was basically a karaoke harlot.

36. Hozier

After throngs of women were primping and waxing,
We stuffed them inside until the building was maxing
The show could not be tamed,
So I got the poster framed.
It’s nights like these that are pleasantly taxing.

35. Weezer [Pixies]

A short trip north from the birthplace of King James
I missed a set parking and had no time for games.
As soon as I settled,
And avoided those who nettled,
It was thrilling to see Weezer’s pyro flames.

34. Jason Isbell [Father John Misty, Jade Bird]

To hear Isbell and crew in Detroit,
Without needing my height to exploit.
To hear Bird wistfully talking,
And Misty deftly walking,
I would have driven all the way from Beloit.

33. Taking Back Sunday

I never wish to be a curmudgeon or miser,
But words don’t flow like water from a geyser.
For when it comes to lyrics,
There’s no need for empirics.
I just hum along until I see the merchandiser.

32. Matt and Kim

There is no substitute for energy and enthusiasm.
You can’t ever fake it with quick wit and sarcasm.
Seeing those sex doll crafters
Let them fall from the rafters
Would send the most stoic fan into a hysteric spasm.

31. Elvis Costello & The Imposters

After long consideration, I took a break at the bar.
Spending my birthday instead with a new wave star.
He’s the under-loved Elvis, behind Pressley,
A childhood favorite, expressly.
Explaining pre-show that he’s like DMC with a guitar.

Big Bad Concert Rankings: 30-21

Big Bad Concert Rankings: 30-21

Big Bad Concert Rankings: 50-41

Big Bad Concert Rankings: 50-41