Enemies Domestic: A Haiku Collection

Two women walk up
They ask to make the next blog
"No," I said. Damn it!

He dropped his condoms.
Dr. Mantis Toboggan?
Yes, they were magnums.

White hats are good guys
Until one spoils the bunch
Because of a punch

He was the No. 1 Dad
The black fence deserved better
If shirts told the truth.

"How do I get to
my grandmother's funeral,"
the fake user lied.

"I make more money!"
In the middle of the road,
mime wiping his ass.

"I don't have Facebook."
"Hey, look up Jamie's Facebook."
Thought you were Jamie?

The righteous man yelled,
"Happy Hunting you fat fuck!"
Knowing I was right.

A woman fell down
"She's a really nice girl."
"No, I'm not," she says.

The wrestler arrived
Then left promptly. Then returned.
Then pinned himself, twice.

Paper prints don't work.
"Will birth certificates work?"
"That's still on paper."

305 prepared.
Her hair, clothing style and boots.
You can't plan on me.

"Why can't she get in?"
"She was drinking beer outside.
"It's in our trash now."

Nice, most of the time
Until it's time not to be.
Take the hint and leave.