May 14

May 14 Big Bad Concert Rankings: 30-21

I think what’s missing from most of the over-anxious protesters during this quarantine is the lack of hobbies. For instance, going to concerts, or bars, or hanging out aren’t hobbies. Woodworking is a hobby. Collecting is a hobby. Painting, video games, shooting, working out, creating music, DND, you get it. Anything that is passive that you enjoy is mostly off limits. Which means you’re likely to get stir crazy when you can’t do those activities. But being stir crazy and bringing an axe to a protest after fighting about a doll while defying social distancing guidelines is a bridge way too fucking far.

I, for one, collect sports memorabilia and cards. I also like to curate framed objects, like my 20 Monroe Live posters and call sheet cutups. Plus, you know, this blog. How many people screaming about getting haircuts have time to do things that make them happy? All of them, probably. If you have time to protest something that innocuous, you have time to find an activity that doesn’t involve angrily shouting at half-empty buildings and journalists. And calling the governor Hitler.

That’s so idiotic. Hey, this nice lady wants to make sure thousands of her citizens don’t die from a virus with no known cure. All we have to do is keep to ourselves for a while and treat others with dignity and respect. And don’t overwhelm the hospitals. After all, if the hospitals get full and the nurses and doctors die or burn out, there will be nobody to help us when we need it.

We can even go on walks and to the store occasionally! Some of us will be without work, and it will be tough, but we won’t be dead.

Naturally, this person must be a genocidal mass murderer bent on world domination. Yup, no wiggle room on this one.

Have you ever seen someone who makes clay pots? Or gardens? Think of how relaxed they are most of the time. You have to be patient and delicate and disciplined. We could use more people like that.

And if you’re reading this and getting angry, wondering what this has to do with concerts, it’s obvious. The more you stay at home and not overwhelm the hospital system, the faster our favorite activities will return, even if it isn’t for many months. Does staying home most of the time suck? I guess. We all have our own problems. But is it better than dying from a respiratory disease in a lonely hospital room? Hell yes. Like, that’s the main crux of this argument. If you get the virus, you don’t know what will happen. You can only guess based on how healthy you think you are. There is no known cure, vaccine, or natural immunity. Yet. Right now we’re stuck in a transition period between a plausibility and the consensus cure. And some of you are having a really difficult time with not being able to get your way like you have been 100 percent of the time.

30. Bon Iver [Lord Huron, Julien Baker]

There aren’t many moments on this list where I can share video of the exact moments that make them memorable. This is one of those exceptions. Despite being from Wisconsin, writing a song titled Wisconsin, and writing For Emma in northern Wisconsin, Bon Iver doesn’t really tour Eastern Wisconsin. When my aunt notified me of the show we were both ecstatic. Not only was it going to be in Milwaukee, but also at Summerfest, and tickets were relatively inexpensive.After my gift of Arcade Fire tickets the year before, this was a fair balance of the scales.

Julien Baker opened and I almost fell asleep but didn’t. Not sure why that kept happening at Summerfest shows. There’s something about lullaby singer songwriters by the lakeshore that gets me. After Baker came Lord Huron, which I was super duper psyched about, mainly because I missed out on a chance to work his sold out show at 20 Monroe. A Huron/Baker set alone would achieve a Top 100 placement. When that’s the caliber of your two openers, things are looking up for the headliner.

Donning a Christian Yelich shirsey, there was little room for non-enjoyment. Every big ‘hit’ was played. Even though I’m tempted to call him a rocker, the backing musicians were incredible and could clearly hold their own. I was browsing YouTube one day and found a behind-the-scenes clip of him preparing for the show. One of his back up vocalists was Jenn Wasner, lead singer of Wye Oak and off-and-on Sylvan Esso collaborator. So, the show was cooler without me realizing it was cooler. That’s craftsmanship.

Anyway, that moment that shines. Bon Iver has a beautiful breakdown of a song called Holocene. In that song is a lyric with Milwaukee, and well, I’ll let the crowd speak for myself.

29. The Front Bottoms [An Horse]

What ranks higher than a homer show that features two other great openers? Surprises.

When I mentioned who was playing at 20 that night, a friend dropped what he was doing and told me how lucky I was and how disappointed in himself he was for not knowing they were in town. After telling me he’ll pay me back for any vinyl they had (they didn’t have any), he went into how much fun I was going to have. Meanwhile, I’m looking at him very confused because all I was going on was the poster, which featured an Asian lady if I’m not mistaken. So, I go into work with an open mind.

The Front Bottoms are, according to the internet on the walk from my parked car to the venue, folk pop punk. An Horse is an indie pop duo from Australia.

The show did not sell out, but there was a steady trickle. An Horse is up first, and I walked out of the main room after the fourth song to buy the album it was on. It’s one of the best albums I have from any opener to date.

As the set changes from opener to headliner I really start to notice the room. I swear I’ve seen all these people before. Not specifically, but that type of person. That type where you can’t put your finger on them until it’s shoved right in front of your face. That’s when the band came on.

The Front Bottoms are frat rock. And everyone in the venue could have been an extra in PCU and Glory Daze. Everyone knew every word. Not hyperbole. With that kind of following and electricity, I understood why and how my friend was acting. I bought two albums.

28. Andrew WK

Five things about why I like Andrew WK. No. 1, Madden 2003. No. 2, partying is limitless. No. 3, Destroy Build Destroy. No. 4, I Get Wet on SNL. No. 5, Party Hard on SNL. If there was any show on this list where I knew someone was going to ‘bring it,’ it was going to be this band.

In the spirit of countdowns, Andrew WK might have the best of them. Counting down from 100 before the lead in to Party Hard was better than any New Year’s Eve celebration I’ve ever witnessed. Andrew likes to kick and flail and headbang at his shows, so I have a lot of praise for the person shooting this video daring to be so close.

27. The Lonely Island

Speaking of SNL fame, I cannot begin to tell you how good The Lonely Island is live. Their tour was hitting major city after major city. New York, Philly, Boston, Chicago, Austin City Limits, Detroit and Minneapolis. For some reason, they also added Summerfest in Milwaukee. But the smallest city packed the biggest punch. Not only did they play all the best Digital Shorts, but they also added songs from Popstar and their Netflix special about Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire. One twist, however, Jose Canseco was actually there.

And T-Pain.

T-motherfucking-Pain. He was playing one of the other side stages and cut his own show short so he could make his way on stage for I’m On a Boat. The two acts have only been on the same stage twice and Milwaukee was one of them.

26. Jimmy Eat World

Showcasing some oddly-acronymed merch … wait for it … there ya go, Jimmy Eat World was flawless after so many years of touring. While this was a show I was working, it didn’t feel like work. I can’t recall a single problem or fight that broke out. And that’s rare. Something usually pops off, but everyone wasn’t concerned with having a good time — they just had one.

25. Metric [July Talk]

Driving to Detroit in march is always a gamble. It’s a 2.5 hour drive that could turn dangerous from hour to hour. Luckily the roads were clear and I was able to start the 2019 road concert series off without a hitch. Metric is a similar band to Interpol in that I don’t really have a favorite song. The entire catalog is strong. That said, their closer was Now or Never Now, the single off their latest album, and it totally worked. The only downside to this show was July Talk’s lack of merch. I never heard of the Canadian product but the guy/girl duo had the strangest chemistry I’ve ever witnessed. Shifting from lovelorn to punch drunk, ambiguous to frothing, the greaser and pixie worked so well together on stage that their set felt more like theater than an opening act.

24. Lucius [Pure Bathing Culture]

Lucius is one of my all-time favorite vocalist acts. Performing in synchronicity, the two approached the harpsichordal stage with identical gaits, shoes, dresses, and wigs. I was a little nervous going into the show because I hadn’t eaten and the venue was on a small college campus. So, I did what everyone else around campus was doing — I went to the student dining hall. After scarfing down a chicken sandwich and a salad, I headed back to the auditorium and found what I had feared — the seats were too small.

But not in the front row.

So, front row and getting to act like a college kid again. Pretty sweet. Pure Bathing Culture opened and I bought three CDs.

It’s not that they were better openers than An Horse, but it was more a matter of convenience. It's hard to gauge what even the best record stores will have CD-wise nowadays, so three albums for thirty bucks was a steal in my mind. Also, my first brown concert tee courtesy of Lucius' oddly Picaso inspired design.

Being upfront, this show had to be in Grand Rapids because there’s no chance I would have made the drive home from somewhere more than an hour away. Lyrically, musically, the one-two punch was the most at-ease I’ve felt at any show. Judging by how things are stacking up around the world. This show will have that affect for quite some time.

Oh! I almost forgot. At the end, the student union passed out FREE ice cream sandwiches!

23. The National [Courtney Barnett]

Speaking of seats that are too shallow in college auditoriums …

The National and Courtney Barnett played at Michigan’s Hill Auditorium, featuring seats installed when the tallest students were presumably 4-foot-7. I tell ya, these seats were so small (HOW SMALL WERE THEY?), they were so small I could not sit down and keep my foot flat on the ground at the same time.

I sat near my original seat for the duration of Barnett’s set — who I would see again in a heartbeat — before heading downstairs to the merch cattle herding. After getting my first powder blue concert tee, an usher spotted me in the crowd and motioned me over. I thought I dropped something or inadvertently pushed someone, but to my surprise, he knew my plight and gave me some hope for humanity. My original tickets were in the upper mezzanine, but after conferring with his manager, my new seat was in the ADA row where they had lots of space. Seeing the National might be a life-altering experience depending on how clearly Matt Berninger annunciates his lyrics, luckily this was one of his best and that’s why they land so close to the Top 20.

22. Arctic Monkeys

Incredible bands span generations and change their musical style to fit with the times, or to change how they want their art perceived. The latest Arctic Monkeys album was definitely a change from the norm. They went from skaters to rockers to Mad Men in the blink of an eye, and nailed it each time. I connected with few colleagues and friends at this show across the state but was the only one who ended up in the main pit. I wasn’t going to roll the dice with finding a GA seat when the pit pass was only an extra twenty bucks. I can’t wait for whatever the next iteration of the Arctic Monkeys will bring, because if they can pull off dapper 50’s rockers in a Detroit summer, they can do anything.