Big Bad Concert Rankings: 70-61

I’m on a self-imposed buying freeze until the COVID-19 pandemic dust settles. I don’t think I’m in any danger, but I do work in two industries where fear leads to decreased audience turnout, and therefore, revenue. Tours are canceling dates, colleges are closing, state are banning public events with more than x amount of people. A bar might be recession-proof, but is it pandemic-proof? As for the venues, most shows in March and April are being postponed.

I’ll still wear gloves to work. Wash my hands. Not touch my face. Keep a comfortable distance from people. Stand outside the bar. It’s a great time to be an overly-cautious introvert.

Some of these are in haiku. All of these used to be in Haiku, but the past list is now incorporated with the new list so everything’s just thrown in here like your one already overstuffed dorm closet before rushed cleaning the night before Parents’ Weekend.

70. The Black Keys [Modest Mouse]

Do not anger Big Mac. She may be small, but her anger is mighty if you don’t call out band members. Which, admittedly, was a dick thing Dan Auerbach did, or didn’t do. As large as the production value of The Black Keys set was, a lot of the songs fell flat. Almost like they were trying something new with each recorded version. Let’s put it this way, Gold on the Ceiling was their highlight moment, and it’s not even one of their Top 10 best songs. This ranking is heavily buoyed by a masterclass of uncontrollable chaos Modest Mouse and their three drummers put forth. And the School House Rock inspired BK shirt. If this was a Black Keys solo show, it wouldn’t have made the Top 100.

69. Delta Spirit

If you can recall all the way back to Brand New at No. 94, this band was what I was planning to see until my friend persuaded me. Seeing as I knew they had a more intimate setting later in the summer, I relented. And while I had a lot of fun, without knowing any words, there’s a reason the two bands are 30 spots apart. Delta Spirit is know for that classic Americana, road warrior, open skies and clear minds kind of style. Throw in a light setup Tesla would have been proud of, and there’s this brief 90-minute moment you’re no longer in Grand Rapids, Michigan, but in a ramshackle bar in a seaside town after listening to the waves crash against the rocks below the Pacific Coast Highway.

68. Andy Grammer [Ben Rector]

I was lucky enough to be big enough to carry Andy Grammer’s standing platform. Unlike most performer’s the main act started in the middle of the crowd. We walked though the seas of adoring fans, lightly pushing our way tot he center of the floor. I placed the luggage stand on the X and another propped up his microphone. That’s where something easy went terribly, terribly awry. At 6-foot-8, I was taller than Andy + the box. Standing right in front of him. Naturally, I bent down into a squat position so he could serenade the audience. Let’s just say my view was … a package deal.I encourage you to YouTube both Grammer and Rector. Each is a truly great artist and if you think you’ve never heard of either, you definitely have.

67. Wilco [Deep Sea Diver]

I bought Wilco’s newest album, Jeff Tweedy’s Warm/Warmer dual album, the opener’s album, and I still wanted to get more. This is where this list started to get difficult. As tremendous as Wilco was, the length of the set worked against them. I know it sounds weird to say, but I think we were spoiled by too much of a good thing. An onslaught of calm, if you will.

66. Phantogram ft. Big Boi

As soon as Big Boi stepped out I leaned over to my aunt and said “called it!” Big Boi was performing at one of the other stages so a Big Grams performance was easily attainable. Sure, they only did one song, and it wasn’t greatest on their album, but it was very cool. My aunt was able to win a pair of pit passes so we were front and center for Sarah and her Barthels. And, you know, those other people in the band.

65. Local Natives [Middle Kids]

Driving to Detroit is getting real easy. I made this trip in just under 2 and a half hours, parked, walked around the neighborhood. Found a Cap’n Crunch shake at Royale with Cheese, pulpo at La Feria, and then two great bands back at the big box that is the Majestic. Overall, it was my 10th show in May 2019 and an incredible night. When Am I Gonna Lose You was hands down my favorite song of the year and Local Natives unbridled performance did not disappoint. Well, one this was disappointing, Middle Kids merch. I am sorry, I’m not paying $20 for your 5-song EP. That’s crazy.

That should give you some insight on how much fun I had at the next 60 shows.

64. BØRNS

His sixth grade teacher
Wanted free shots and cocktails
For Electric Love

63. Matchbox Twenty

So, before I had this space reserved for some quippy Haiku about not being able to find them online. Because I saw them with my mom. Even my mom remembers seeing them, and in Kalamazoo specifically. Years later now, I have proof with the help of some other concert going friends and a few internet archives. On June 3, 1998, my mom and I saw Matchbox Twenty at Wings Stadium. I did not get close enough to Rob Thomas to correct him on my name.

62. Incubus

Frontman didn't wear shirt
Brandon Boyd is Forty-Four
Nobody minded

61. STRFKR [Psychic Twin]

On my birthday, I
Saw a spaceman crowdsurfing
Confetti abound