Sagittaurus
I don't follow horoscopes.
But I do know what most of the date parameters are for certain signs. Sometimes it helps throw someone off guard or break the tension for someone who has to wait an extended period.
I also think it's fun to meet people who have the same birth month and day as me. Most people do not share this excitement. Others want to know if we have the same sign.
Some say Scorpio, as the date between a Scorpio and a Sagittarius is debatable.
Mind you again, I find astrology debatable, but that's for another time.
For these purposes, I consider myself a Sagittarius.
What I don't consider myself is a Sagittaurus.
Like the car.
The site did say last Friday would be one of my worst days of the month. Go figure.
Friday Fake No. 1 (231): Mother & Daughter Duo
Momma was born in 1969 but maybe the mix of bad Doors music and flower power made her future inhibitions lack certain clarity. I don't doubt she brought her daughter to the bar but she at least could've picked out an ID in the same decade.
Friday Fake No. 2 (232): Rush Hour 2
Can you understand the words coming out of my mouth?
Because I told you to leave.
A man came up to me on Saturday night wanting to ask me one question "you probably get all the time."
I told him I was 6-foot-8.
"No. Are You Russian?"
"No ..."
"OK. Where are you from?"
"Milwaukee."
Seemingly unsatisfied, he just walked away.
Saturday Fake No. 1 (233): Goo Goo Doll
What's the one thing you can't memorize when trying to pass off another person's fake ID?
The color of their eyes if it's different from your own,
Saturday Fake No. 2 (234): Scotty Doesn't Know
First of all, let's watch Matt Damon's best performance:
Second, if you don't look like someone on an ID, please remember what their name is.
Or, nevermind, don't remember because this interaction was way more fun.
Kid walks up, hands me the ID. The kid is 3 inches shorter than the real Scotty Junior.
"What's your dad's name?"
"John."
"OK, I'll be taking this."
"Wait, what? Do you know my dad?"
"No, but I know what his first name is."
"Well, can I have my ID back?"
"It's not your ID. Both you and the girl have to leave."
"But my dad's name is John. I don't understand why I can't have my ID back."
The ID was along the lines of Scott Anthony Williams II. Heavy emphasis on the II, or juniors as they are more commonly called.
The kid still wasn't getting it. The girl tries to hand me her ID because apparently, she thought she was still getting into the bar.
"Do you know her dad's name?"
"That's not how names work."
Scott. The correct answer we were looking for was Scott.
Saturday Fake No. 3 (235): Not so Sly and the Family Stone
Please, please, please keep sending people to my bar's doorstep with the wrong race. I can spot a Dolezal from a mile away - even better from one foot.
That's all folks. Hopefully, the 22nd really is my best day of the month. Sagittauruses Unite!
