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Hello.

There are stories we tell to one-up each other, and then there is this blog. Read wondrous tales of strange creatures, explore the depths of human indecency, and hopefully laugh a little as we find out what could possibly make people do what they do.

Sweets Surrender

Sweets Surrender

How is the detox going? Well, success comes in many forms.

The first form is the inevitable weight loss associated with not eating five or six times a day and sucking down protein shakes like a hamster coming down from a spinning wheel workout. I’m also not working out as hard as before. Gone are the mega lifts, which is now odd for a different reason.

I’m not a celebrity, but I do get noticed from people around town. Mainly from a) the bar, 2) the venue, and three) the gym. Skewed heavily in favor of men than women, which is a mixed bag.

I’ve noticed some strange looks now that I’m attempting to thin down. The awkward glares of someone my size bench pressing the bar. Only the bar. It weighs 45 pounds. Pressing it 30 times in rapid succession for three or five sets, however, is exhausting.

Limiting myself to eating between normal hours is also helping. The late-night snacks and shift drinks, Tuesday trivia nights, and Sunday football days carried some poundage I was not fully expecting. I started the month at 315 and am down about 15 in 18 days.

Don’t get the excitement up. Fifteen pounds for someone my size is like the average person pooping out a big lunch. The hard part is yet to come.

And part of that hard part is here, now.

Christmas Cookie SZN

My mom got a KitchenAid mixer after 15 years of pleading.

Oh, there were cookies. Dozens of batches.

Not dozens of cookies,

Dozens.

Of.

Batches.

Naturally, I had to be a taste tester.

That’s where are progress is going so far. I’m still on my timing, lack of alcohol, and generally healthy eating, sans a few dozen cookies.

Not batches.

That was last year.

Why Did I Start With Squats?

Why Did I Start With Squats?

The Office Doughnut Problem

The Office Doughnut Problem