So, You Want to Skip the Line on New Year's Eve

Everybody wants to get in, so few can.

Here's the insider secret of how you can easily skip the line, with a few exceptions.

1. The Obvious

2. The New Year's Kiss

Admittedly, this is a 1-of-1 deal. Only one person can really claim this, and you can’t flake out. What happens if you don’t make it to midnight? Banned. Harsh, but we can’t start 2023 off with mendacious intent. Also, everyone in your group is kicked out. Scorched earth.

3. Kohl’s Cash

Your mom gave it to you just in case you need a nice shirt. Well, I need some new socks because my soles are wearing thin. Let’s dance, you and I.

4. Food

Snacks are a huge plus. It’s a long, cold night, and food is at least a heartfelt thought. Now, not all food is the same. Are you handing us leftovers? Hard pass. Fast Food? Someone might want it, but it’s not me. Gas station snacks? Also no. I’m driving a hard bargain here, so impress me, but if you’re already smacking your wallet on the table thinking of a nice entree, see No. 1 instead. Homemade treats? Now we’re talking.

5. Friendly Free Fare

How good of friends do you think we are? Now’s the time to test it. Sometimes the “VIP line” is free, you just have to be patient. But here’s a warning, my niceness has its limits and that is beyond your control. Your mere presence without options 1 - 4 might just piss me off.

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Dishonorable Mentions

“What Shot Do You Want?”

I can’t drink on the job. and shots aren’t that expensive. On any other non-holiday I might accept that after-work treat. But on NYE? No thanks. It’s more of an insult than you realize.

Let’s Get Digital

It’s 30 degrees outside and you want me to operate my phone, with my exposed fingers?

“You Know Me”

If these words are coming out of your mouth, and you expect it to work, you clearly don’t know me.