Big Bad Concert Rankings: No. 1
I am quite good at bar trivia. Solo, small teams, big teams, I’m the go-to guess getter. You work all day, head to the gym for an hour, then drive a few blocks to the bar to play some trivia and flex your mental muscles while letting the others recover. In the standard 20-question format, I average about 15 correct. Once, I answered 19 correctly and had a near-perfect score.
The one question I missed? It was in the first round. The softballs. In a multiple-choice format, I incorrectly guessed who wrote The Fault In Our Stars. I guessed Nicholas Sparks. It’s OK for the John Green fans to stop reading now. I’ll just be over here furiously writing about concerts in the corner.
What does this have to do with a concert countdown almost at its end, drawing out over a year’s worth of my life? On several nights, I would play against a handful of regulars. A trendy/skater/emo couple, a gang of six who I thought were the only people to like the bar’s food, two teachers, select members of the bar AKA my friends, and the friends and family of the bar’s owners.
If I had a nemesis during my frankly historic run of Top 3 finishes, it would either be the two teachers or the last group — the bar owners F&F. Every week, battling it out for bar cash supremacy.
One evening, the category comes on and it’s a Name That Tune. Knew it in a heartbeat.
Unmistakable.
Now, they knew it, too, so I didn’t increase my lead at all, but we put distance between us and the rest of the teams.
After we handed our answers in, the fellow baldy on their team made some offhand remark, dismissing the band as “too political” for his taste, adding that he “liked them before they got all preachy.” I’m not sure how old he is, or was, but I would say only 50 years old max.
So, with some simple deduction, this puts his birth year at no farther back than 1970, six years before the band formed and 10 before their first album. At 13 years old, this band released arguably the most critically acclaimed political protest song. So, from 10 to 13, he really dug this band’s sound, but once he became a young republican at 13, their sound didn’t vibe with him.
Oh, well. It sure as hell vibed with the other 43,000 of us that September night in Detroit.
1. Beck
Kidding!
But Beck was there and performed a suitable set—on paper. Acoustically, he couldn’t fill the room, even though he tried.
Using approximately 1/8th the screen size of the headliner, Beck rattled off an impressive 45-minute set list of his Greatest Hits, starting off with Devil’s Haircut and Loser. It’s odd when big names open for even bigger names., isn’t it?
Paul McCartney doesn’t have an opener, he just waits for everyone to sit down and then begins. Sometimes it goes great, like Pixies opening for Weezer or for co-headlining tours like Father John Misty opening for Jason Isbell.
And then there’s Beck’s set, which no doubt kills when he’s the headliner but felt forced for this specific crowd.
Because he was trying to impress. It was his first night on this leg of the tour, taking the warmup reins from Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds.
It was too loud.
That’s saying something, when I, someone who has worked metal shows and arena rock shows since I was 18 years old, think it’s too loud. It was fake crowd noise over announcers talking during no-fan COVID games loud. With Harmonicas and a Stratocaster.
I walked down to the medical center and grabbed some earplugs for the family. Plugged up, Beck sounded a lot better, including E-Pro, my favorite song of his, and Where It’s At, as closer.
Now for the waiting game. Merch was lackluster. Plain tee colors with the album cover. I expected more.
I also left my ID in the hotel room, so no overpriced beers. Yes, I am aware how ironic that is.
Walking around, I texted my aunt Karen, also in attendance and much closer (as per usual). And then we watched the city of Detroit keep pouring in.
The lights got a little lower.
A message scrolled on screen, twice the area of the screen Beck commandeered. It was a little hard to read, but do doubt profound, I’m sure.
Lights got lower still.
The Whole of the Moon by The Waterboys is playing slightly louder than the other intermission tracks.
The words on the screen stop scrolling. The floor crowd screams. A spotlight shines on one man. The drummer. He walks to the middle of the arena floor, sits down, adjusts his seat, picks up the sticks. He plays “arguably the most critically acclaimed political protest song,” and away we go.
1. U2 at Ford Field
Sunday Bloody Sunday starts off with Larry Mullen Jr’s solo drum intro, followed by The Edge’s guitar, Bono’s humming, and then later adds Adam Clayton’s bass line. It is the perfect song, not only because it’s a banger and one of their Top 5 hits, but it also gives each band member their own space within the song to showcase what makes them and enduring symbol of stadium rock and roll.
That’s why U2 is my favorite band and I am confident the only way to dethrone this show is with another U2 set — should that time ever come to pass. The 30th anniversary of Achtung Baby and the Zoo TV Tour are coming up, so there’s still hope.
But this is about The Joshua Tree Tour. An incredible album, played in full. U2 followed up their protest anthem with a collection of other early hits, taking the incredibly diverse Ford Field crowd on a journey from Dublin to America by way of War (Sunday Bloody Sunday, New Year’s Day) and The Unforgettable Fire (Bad, Pride (In the Name of Love)).
The first three were fantastic. Bad, especially. It’s the closest to One the band gets to the classic lighter-turned-smartphone-flashlight ballad, and it truly was a sight to behold. The only … unsatisfactory part about this entire show was that I downed my water too fast and Bad is a can’t miss song. Knowing the setlist in advance helps in these key moments because I knew that if I could just hold it long enough I could slip out for a few minutes during Pride (In the Name of Love), one of my least favorite ‘popular’ U2 songs.
With their four-song early setlist complete, and me back in my seat, it was time to present The Joshua Tree. The stage (as seen below) was massive. It spanned 50 yards wide and was as tall as the entire lower bowl. There’s actually a dip in the middle of the screen, almost where that sound equipment is in the photos and where the drums sat.
Once everyone was in position, the screen flashed red, and got brighter, and brighter, and brighter, until it was just — and i’m not exaggerating — heavenly white light, emanating from the screen while the most identifiable guitar track of all time starts playing.
Where the Streets Have No Name
The best song ever performed at the Super Bowl Halftime show* was song 5. *Hey Jude and Purple Rain round out my Top 3 so don’t cancel me on my halftime takes.
There are no personal photos or video of that song. Couldn’t do it. Too emotional. Speaking of emotion, have you ever seen The Joshua Tree track list?
I Still Haven’t Found Found What I’m Looking For, a gospel song in Motown, and With or Without You were next.
They exhausted me after seven songs. But then for a shock. Just as it is in the album, so it was live. Now, unlike a surprise song like Helter Skelter, you know how the album develops. The Joshua Tree is an American album. It just happens to be created by an Irish punk-turned-arena rock band. The first three tracks lay the groundwork for some grand overture. A suggestion that we can accomplish all things even though you may not know what that end goal even is yet, how to get there, or who you’d want to be with when you experience it. An idealistic Route 66 American Dream.
Which makes it even more visceral when it all comes crashing down like America cyclicly does every so often.
And that’s where Bullet the Blue Sky comes in, shattering all the goodwill that the first three tracks lay down for some ultra-realism and in-your-face attitude.
I know I said I would create another list of all the great songs I have heard live. Spoiler alert — Bullet the Blue Sky is hands down the greatest live performance I have ever witnessed. It’s not even my favorite track on the album. Not even in my Top 10 of favorite U2 songs. But the way the stage went from black tops and open sky to harsh, fractured closeups with red and blue backlighting altered the mood and raised the stakes of what concerts should be. Fun, Emotional, Exhilarating, and a little Dangerous.
If the first three tracks walk God around the room, Bullet the Blue Sky is the cops kicking the door down.
And then they just hang out for a while. Running to Stand Still is quite the departure from the first four tracks. It’s a lot more hopeful.
Bono then proclaimed to the audience, “Welcome to Side 2 of The Joshua Tree,” and it was a time to settle in and enjoy the music for the sake of the music. A funny thing at a rock show. Hardly anyone will claim any song from Side 2 as their favorite. Red Hill Mining Town and In God’s Country are the closest U2 come to ‘hits’ in the traditional sense. They fit along the road to a far-off destination out West.
Red Hill Mining Town is the perfect background noise of a dim bar in a one-street town that serves beer warmer than usual and always welcomes strangers but never seems to have any.
In God’s Country is the soundtrack of a familiar note on the radio dial in classic car coasting for a couple miles while the sun sets on the Mojave.
And then you keep coasting for a little while longer. The Joshua Tree portion of the Joshua Tree Tour ended with a duet with Patti Smith.. She lives in the Detroit area and it was clear the people may have wanted Jack White, but got Patti Smith. It’s like wanting a bike for Christmas, but getting a penny-farthing. Technically, it’s in the same family of rock-icon, but one is very much in a different generation.
The duet was on Mothers of the Disappeared. Heavy subject material that didn’t have the impact with the stunt casting choice. Personally, I’m not a huge Patti Smith fan to begin with. Her most popular song is Because the Night (co-written by Bruce Springsteen), epically covered by Natalie Merchant and 10,000 Maniacs.
I feel like I’m veering off course, so I just linked three versions of the same song. You can decide if you think Patti Smith deserved more of my admiration.
I once had to do a presentation in 10th-grade English class on a song that meant something to you. This was 2003 or 2004, and I brought in the U2 album, All That You Can’t Leave Behind, which I think is a magnificent collection of songs that don’t upset anyone.
My song choice was Beautiful Day, which I connected with because I did, and still do, have a very optimistic view on things. I did not receive a good grade. You know what people responded to? Alien Ant Farm’s Smooth Criminal cover and John Mayer’s No Such Thing. I still have questions.
Anyhow, Beautiful Day at the show signified that we were all headed toward the end, but it was going to be a real mad dash. Because once the open-world we are all together message, the band rolls right into Elevation. The stage lit up the top and bottom with the black-and-white crowd in the middle. At first I thought this was b-roll of some other show, but it was a live camera feed, sometimes controlled by Bono himself.
And just when you try to catch some breath, UNO, DOS, TRES, CATORCE!
So, there are a couple reasons floating why Bono shouts 1, 2, 3… 14 to start Vertigo. They’re like Joker origin stories in that they all make sense, but there’s no real reason anyone can pinpoint. Some say it’s a nod to a bible verse, others say the album How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb is the band’s 14th, which is a dubious claim that includes two compilations and a remix. And Bono himself said alcohol was involved. Either way, it’s a trip live.
After the trippy red waves and swirls came the rainbow aura provided by Mysterious Ways, my favorite song. Most live performances feature a woman from the audience dancing around Bono. This time it was a woman in a red dress who acted like she’d been there before in front of 43,000 people.
Ultraviolet (Light My Way) was a ceremonious nod to all the trailblazing women throughout history. It was quite moving.
There’s so much wrapped up into each song that you can’t help but feel a little grateful that it’s over while hoping it wouldn’t end all the same. Rolling Stone put out a list of the band’s Top 50 songs. This setlist went 14/21. Elevation didn’t make the cut. I blame the moles digging in holes.
The show unceremoniously ends with One. The Joshua Tree Tour gave everyone exactly what they came for. The four-song prologue and six-song epilogue were bookends of experiences many people got to relive from 30-years prior.
I’m going to leave you with my favorite clips of U2, to give you a sense of what makes them my favorite band. Because I was about 10-13 when I first watched these videos and I definitely didn’t think they were too political for my liking. I thought they were just a really cool band.