June was a testament to working out with an actual plan instead of thrown together activities or challenges. After trying a few workouts my mom was doing on her FitOn app, I decided to go with a fully-formed four week plan.

First things first, I had to set my goals, measurements, time, and intensity so the system would accurately sync the best plan to meet my needs. With all of that settled, I was off and running toward a slimmer summer physique.

That didn’t really happen.

I nearly quit on the first day. My body ached and I was incredibly sore after just one workout.

The session? Stretching.

I have to say, these workouts are no joke. There are some killer leg workouts, the yoga and pilates does its trick, and the HIIT and tabata sessions pack a punch I was not expecting.

But it wasn’t until the middle of Week 3 that I noticed something was slightly … off.

The workouts are led by a mix of men and women, but this plan was tilting 80/20 women. Nothing out of the ordinary for a stretching and yoga sessions. Most of the “shredding” videos and cardio workouts are male-led, but the others are a solid 50/50 mix.

Some of you are ahead of me.

Don’t spoil it for the others.

In Week 3, I got to the workout titled “Your Best Booty.”

Again, it’s all fairly indiscriminate for whatever gender is following the session. Except for this one, where the instructor tells the audience of one, “come on, girl, you got this!”

Oh.

I forgot to change the initial setting on my profile from Female (the default) to Male.

And you know what, being a girl for three weeks was kicking my ass.

Yes, I did think it was strange that most of my ‘tailored’ workouts were taught by small women who walked out of central casting, but who was I to say that’s not how large men shed the poundage? These are celebrity trainers and fitness gurus.

The writing was really on the wall from the get-go. Now that I look back at the 16 workouts I completed, like, 10 of them were all about getting me a sexier profile and thigh and booty trim downs. Results … varied.

I can now proudly say that I flipped the appropriate switch and am fully a boy again in the eyes of FitOn.

My new workout plan started with plenty of cardio, another biceps burn, and more goddamn stretching.

Guess what I still have issues with?

It turns out that 6-8 and ‘big-boned’ is still pretty inflexible no matter what gender you belong to.