We all have pet peeves. The things that we see others do that for some mostly unknown reason just bugs the crap out of us. I'm going to present my top three.

But first, a little ID story.

The Cinco de Mayo festivities did not dampen the fake ID game as another four were rung up on my scoreboard. Two very quite pedestrian, more cases of misused IDs, but two were not.

For those of you unaware or not from the state of Indiana, and a few others, do not allow persons getting a drivers license to show their teeth. That's right. No smiles. So if you're smiling and hand me an Indiana ID printed after 2009, I will just put it right in my pocket. No, I don't need to scan it and no, the BMV did not say you could smile as a special case. That's three, now for the fourth. 

When I first started working the door, I thought 50 IDs was an impossible number. Maybe in a year. But as they fell, the number moved to 100. And as 100 fell, the number stopped being a number and turned to a prize.

At first, the prize was California. Then Florida, Wisconsin, Massachusetts and any other New England state, aside from Connecticut. Then it was the elusive and not-oft faked Michigan.

But so, too, did Michigan fall. States are no longer the important chase. The chase now draws down to buffoonery and the inside joke. The prime example was Ohio's upside-down smiley face. What many teens or 20-year-olds fail to grasp is the fast cash nature of the fake ID market. Sure, they'll sell you a fake ID, but that doesn't mean they're on your side. They want your money and might mess with you once the check clears.

Some Ohio IDs feature an upside-down smiley face where the state seal should be. This feature can only be seen under UV light, which most fake ID users don't bother to check. Haha.

Now onto my pet peeves.

1. People who score cricket wrong.

This is a darts pet peeve based solely on the way people tally their hits playing cricket, the game where you must land three darts in each zone between 15 and 20, and some form of three bullseyes.

How hard is / X O? It's so basic, so downright simple that I honestly believe people are just overthinking it, and then I go back to my first assumption that these people should not be throwing around three pointy metal objects.

People should know how to tally. We all learn it in school for counting to five. IIII and then a slash through all four, signaling you've reached five. As we get older somebody must have told you how to score cricket properly. As you can see above, two players decided to tally to three (the target) and then slash through signifying finality of the set. But that slash means four. To a lesser degree, another duo used just two tallies, then the circle. They must have known the circle was needed from the start, so why two upright tallies? Makes no sense.

Finally, we get to the exes. These brainiacs mark each hit target as an X, only to cross out all three Xs when completing the set. That makes less sense than the four tallies. I'll go put my tin foil hat back on.

2. I didn't stamp your hand or put a bracelet on your wrist so why are you showing me your wrists?

I know several bars stamp or put a paper bracelet on party-goers to signify their spot in the bar after going out for some fresh air or completely unhealthy first and second-hand air, but the overwhelming majority of establishments in my area, including mine, do not. I have yet to stamp anyone, you cannot possibly remember me stamping you, because it never happened, and yet you insist such things occurred. Stop. It.

3. Don't act like you're the bouncer.

It's not fun and cute, it's creepy. You mean to tell me that the best way for you to talk to women in a bar is to impersonate a door guy in your robin's egg blue button-down shirt opened way too low, khaki shorts and boat shoes and hit on a girl after she already gave her ID to a guy already bigger than the biggest person you've probably ever met to then see all of her vital information like name, birthdate, facial features and address? That's not how healthy relationships start.

That's how episodes of Law & Order: SVU start.